April 4,2020
Hi and welcome to my crazy, wonderful life. It's a blessing to be here to even write a blog entry. I haven't updated lately and thought I would finally journal here some too.
We're in the fight for our life with this Covid19 virus. It's hit the entire world very hard. We, in Mississippi, have a stay in place order by the Governor now. He announced it the other day. Only essential businesses may operate and non essential businesses must close. It's so bad that even churches are not considered essential gatherings. I know several churches are live streaming the services for everyone. Of course, Mississippi first tried to get people to limit contact with others by limiting the group number to 10. It's been like people are not taking this seriously at all. When I was in the hospital just two weeks ago, you were limited to just two visitors for the entire time you were there. It had to be the same two people. You were checked at the front door by taking your temperature and asking questions about your travel. If only everyone had been as diligent about their comings and goings! So I am in the house until either the stay in place order is lifted or this horrible virus shows signs of slowing down. Even with the stay in place order, there are so many people out and about. Sometimes, you just wish people had more common sense than book sense.
On a happier note, I am slowly getting things accomplished in my house. I've been washing rugs, curtains, etc. and rearranging some things around. I have been pleasantly surprised at how much I can accomplish by taking breaks and not trying to go full steam all at once. There's a saying that most people with an autoimmune disease will tell you. I felt really good that one day and three days later I'm trying to figure our what happened. Where's the truck that t-boned me?
I miss seeing my kids, Maegan, and extended family. Ronnie put me in Maegan's room because of all the people he comes in contact with. The kids are in jobs where they are around people who may or may not have been exposed. They don't want to take a chance of exposing me to anything right now. The way the virus has been explained to me, if you have a weakened immune system then the effects can be deadly. What is so sad is the fact that people aren't able to go visit their relatives in hospitals or nursing homes at all. I can't imagine being that sick and being alone. If you weren't depressed before, chances are I've probably aided in the sad thoughts.
My thoughts and prayers are with our communities, the medical personnel, police, fire, etc. that are facing this on a daily basis. Please stay home during this time. It's the only way to limit exposure and possibly slow down the spread of this virus.
Peace and love from our Father in heaven,
Susan
Saturday, April 4, 2020
Wednesday, December 11, 2019
Update to our life!
We've had lots of good news this year as well as some not so good news this year. I've struggled with my health and thought I was going to make it past September without a hospital stay. This pulmonary hypertension is a booger to keep regulated. Your fluid levels have to be just right or you go over with fluid. That warrants a hospital stay to get the extra fluid off. Anyway, I'm just doing day to day and hoping God continues to grant me days to come. If my time is done according to God, then don't worry about where I'm going. I believe that Jesus Christ lived, died, and was raised from the dead and sits on the right hand of God our Father. He saved my soul when I was 6 and I was baptized in Eastside Baptist Church. God knows my heart and my beliefs.
Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Musings from the Summer!
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| Sunsets and sunrises have always been one of the easiest things to use for meditation. |
Time has gone by so fast and yet in the middle of the breast cancer battle it seemed like the longest year of my life. I was diagnosed in April of 2017 after my mammogram came back abnormal in March. I had known in my heart that things weren't going to be good when Ronnie found the lump earlier in the year. It wasn't very large but I have to admit that everything felt lumpy. I'm sure having fibrocystic breast disease wasn't a help either. Anyway, I had the biopsy done in April and I can recall that doctor's appointment word for word. My poor Daddy just happened to go with me to this appointment. When Dr. Cummins walked in, she just said "It's bad." I had a sinking feeling that once again, we were on the cancer journey. We had already discussed the fact that I didn't want to play around and only do one breast. It was an automatic double masectomy. Surgery was scheduled for May 5th. I only knew one thing was screaming in my head - you're going to miss another major event in your children's lives. Josh was going to graduate from Mississippi State that night. I cried because of the breast surgery and grieved the fact that I was supposed to be there. I did get to watch the video online. Ronnie, Julia and Maegan went to graduation to be there. Ronnie had stayed with me as long as he could before needing to leave to go to Starkville. Julia and Maegan met him there. Then it seemed as if the whirlwind started and didn't stop after that. My entire family was there from the moment we found out cancer was back until this very minute. There were also people who were there for me that I was a little surprised about. There were also people that weren't around period. I know now the reasons behind a few that were terrified of me dying. The others that never called, sent a text or anything, well they don't have a place in my life. I heard a saying that you will be severely disappointed if you think others will treat you the way you would treat them. It's true!
Well, it finally started slowing down in April of this year. I was discharged from Baptist Hospital the day after Easter and finally came back home to Isola. From the time that I entered the hospital for the double masectomy in May of 2017 until April of 2018, I was away from home. Ronnie was the one who supported me going to Aunt Donna's right after surgery. JoBeth was going to share her room with me until I could get going again. It took its toll on her and I felt it was time to go to Mama and Daddy's after that. Ronnie took me for treatments and we stayed several weekends in Jackson or at home. But the day in and day out, I was in Greenville with the family. I never dreamed that I would be away for so long. I still feel scattered and I've been back home since April. I guess because I still feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and something else to happen.
Before February of 2018, I struggled with taking care of myself. I had to have a debridement surgery in June of 2017. The wounds had become infected and tissue was dying. The wound on my left breast area went down to the chest wall. The after effects of the surgery was so horrifying to me. The scars were ugly and the surgeon even said as much. She said I was well endowed before the surgery. So, to me that meant that what I was left with was just that. Extra tissue in places that didn't need it. The risk of infection from any procedure is so high that I may as well accept it. We did the wound vac for awhile with a home health company that shall not be named. That works into a whole different realm of mess. The surgeon decided that I would do debridement every two weeks. We went to Yazoo City and do wet to dry dressings in between that. Mama did my dressings when Sunflower Home Health wasn't there and was on her game with me. I would recommend Sunflower Home Health to anyone for anybody. They have the best nurses and make sure you have everything you need. Mama did her best to make sure I got lots of protein to promote healing and cooked whatever I wanted. I just didn't have much of an appetite after the chemo and then we started doing the Herceptin infusions. At that time, I was having so much trouble breathing normally. There were so many nights when I would wake up to see Mama checking on my breathing. What we didn't know was the aortic valve in my heart was mush. During the treatments or we think possibly from the first surgery, my breathing had been affected. Although I have pulmonary fibrosis and have had congestive heart failure, nothing was working to ease my breathing. I couldn't talk without having to stop and take breaths. I wore my oxygen constantly. Talk about being a walking hot mess! It was my new middle name. Sometimes, I felt like I could add "Walking Disaster" to that also. So back to the chest area, my wounds were still not healed. The doctors had agreed that going back in wasn't an option to close. They would have to grow skin back from the inside out. Mama and Daddy did everything they could do to help me. I was so hardheaded though about trying to do things my way. Well, my way ended me up in Baptist Hospital on February 9th.
Next posting will detail more from February 9th to April 3rd hospital stay.
Until then, I wish you blessings from our Lord and Savior!
Susan
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
Greetings from Isola, MS!
I can't believe that I haven't updated this since 2010. Lord, have mercy!! From then to now, there's been so many changes in all our lives.
I've gained a granddaughter, was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis(2014) and Breast Cancer (2017). I had to have the aortic valve replaced last year in February. I was real close to not being here on earth any longer at the same time. I'll try to update everything as soon as possible.
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